Dark Shadows

So I had this crazy idea to review something OTHER than books. A movie! I went to the theatre a few days ago and saw:

Did this movie fly under the radar or what? It came out on May 11 but I never heard a peep about it until I saw that it would be playing at the ISAF theatre.

Wikipedia tells me that it is based on a horror soap opera that aired in the 1960's. It stars Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Helena Bonham Carter, so I assumed it would be good. 

But before I get to the movie review, a comment about the theatre. I did not have high expectations. It is a makeshift movie theatre on a military base, so quality would not be the highest priority. However, I wasn't quite expecting  the worst movie experience of my life. I was freezing, staring at a fuzzy screen, and hearing blaring static out of the speakers. But as I sunk into my misery I suddenly found myself laughing. In the MIDDLE of the movie! I was laughing because the horrible theatre was a great reminder that I'm in flipping KABUL and this fact is so awesome that it toally eclipses anything else. 

The movie itself was SO-SO. 3 out of 5. Six out of ten. There were certainly redeeming parts, like the cast. And the soundtrack was killer. The movie is set in 1972 so you get awesome flower child colors and music. Really groovy. And the story itself was fine: Wealthy young man is turned into a vampire by a witch and buried for 200 years; vampire finally is freed and tries to help his ancestors rebuild the family business while battling with the aforementioned witch. I can dig it. 

But there were some problems. For one, your perspective gets all mixed up when the movie seems like it will be told from the Governess Victoria's point of view,  but then suddenly she is not even part of the story anymore until the very end. Parts of it seem totally disjointed, like this ghost that shows up a couple times to mime her death. She is of no consequence to the story. And then there is a really bizarre witch/vampire sex scene that doesn't seem to fit in the movie and felt totally weird to me. Overall it simply didn't feel very solid.

The movie is campy and kind of cool, but it's far from perfect. If you have some free time and you can watch it for little or no money then I would recommend.